Somehow I knew it was time for "Things" to change. The whispering in my head was a genuine pita.
Only problem is__ I hadn't really a clue what exactly that "change" looked like. Still don't! I mean all sorts of things have been tumbling in my head. Tumbling so much that they were confused and fleeting in a murky haze.
Finally, more out of frustration than anything else I just reached out and set a grip on one of the visions when it momentarily appeared in the fog... Pretty much I had to do Something, even if it was wrong, just to break the inertia and get some movement.
I've read that; "The mind is like water, when it's agitated it's hard to see... but when it is calm it becomes clear and you can see easily"
Yeah... I get that for sure and for certain. The "water" inside of my head is most often like the inside of a blender clicked on High.
Been so long since I could see clear that I'd probably mistake it for somebody Else's dream and pass on by if it ever did happen.
I'm letting things just settle for a while... and see what comes. Too often I think maybe I've tried to force things that shouldn't be forced and ended up with square pegs wedged tight into round holes.
Turned an unplanned direction a few days after the Raider left__ and stumbled across a guy...
The ISDR is where the Real Aussies are found.
Well... when this guy looked at me and that lil' voice deep inside looked into those eyes it whispered; don't be a jackass. do.not.leave.this.guy.behind.
So he's sharing camp with me these days. Softens the loneliness that a solo camp becomes.
Maybe this guy will herd me back into the sunlight that seems to have faded.
We shall hope and see__ and find out where exactly the future road runs.
Brian
