Ahhhh... It never seems to quit. The requirements of life consume the dreams of your heart.
As a bent and broken economic system continues to squeeze a good portion of the population... I feel that squeezing on my own ass. Problem is... my heart ain't in, and never has been, keeping my nose to the man's grindstone... so it complicates the generation of income...
I'd just as soon take that grind stone and break it over the bastards head.
Buuuuuut... they give you an all expenses paid long term vacation in a state run resort for that... so I leave the dream of busting the man's head in wonderland and just keep on keepin' on.
How-some-ever... the thinning income of the last three years and the rising cost of the slowly failing effort of keeping the rig together is pushing a couple of unpleasant decisions into my world.
The first is that come the spring our traveling is pretty much suspended for the foreseeable future. Heidi already returned to Colorado in December to go back to working in her store in an effort to get it back into healthier shape. That seems to be showing promise.
But, that effort is likely to continue for months and months. I stayed south... simply because I have come to detest, hate, revile... did I say HATE? Snow and cold...
Buuuuut... as much as I dislike that reality has a way of beating you into submission. Even if you are the most stubborn son of a bitch that came out of the womb.
Even if I wanted to keep on wandering... The old truck and fiver is just not reliable enough to make wandering with 'em an enjoyable situation any more. You go down the road holding your breath waiting for something to break... knowing there ain't no cash to fix it again. That and the simple truth that the dinero to make it reliable got consumed, what little there was of it... just trying to keep it running at all over the past year.
The second is the cost of correcting that thinning income.
Some folks are prospering these days... a whole lot more I believe are subsisting, pretty much hand to mouth... I'm in that second group, as the 18 cent a package Ramen soup that constitutes 'bout 40% of my diet these days attests.
I have to go back to work at a more "regular" job than I've been doing with my writing and such. So, I have the choice of working for the man directly or putting my custom leather shop back together and going after that again.
Now... the direct for the man option, for any sustained length of time almost certainly guarantees a visit to the "State Resort"... so that's pretty much a no go from the get go.
That only leaves restarting my leather shop... which ain't gonna be a cheap option. Leather stitchers aren't cheap, and I sold off the "heavy" equipment when I shut my old shop operation down. Considering the way our outfit has drained all the assets to an empty well over the last year and a bit... there's only one thing left in which there resides a material value that can be sold...
:( ... My Raider...
UGH... You're born... you get beat on for a while... often Life sucks big... and then you die... yeah I'm in a pretty pissy mood.
So... unless Amazon really gets with the program in the next six weeks or so and one of my lil' westerns for some unknown reason turns into a breakout... It looks like this Ol' Buster is gonna be sitting at a leather bench again... and bikeless... Tooling leather is fine, I enjoy that... but... the rest... just bites. :(
Maybe I can figure a way to squeeze the dinero I need... solidly into four digits... out of thin air... I offered some tender kisses and my sweet Ol' Behind for a small fee to a couple of gals... they called the Poh-Leece... no sense of humor at all... so that's out...
... and like I said... workin' for a "Boss" any more... for more than a few days is... well... lets just say... that dog don't hunt... so we'll keep on keepin' on and see where I end up.
Real Mixed Emotions about the whole deal